Marianne's Pregnancy & Birth Story
 
   

A Planned Pregnancy  

Rory Vernon 31/12/06

I knew I was pregnant almost straight away. We had been trying since coming back from honeymoon and I knew exactly when my period should be due. Rory was conceived on a nice little break down in St. Ives for my birthday in April making him due on New Years day 2007.

Scans and Midwives and the NHS!

I went to the Doctors at around 11 weeks and he took my word for it. I wanted a special scan to check for Downs Syndrome, he advised me you don’t get those on the NHS until you are 37 – I am 36 and he wouldn’t refer me. He did, however, give me the details of a private clinic which I could go to. I arranged to go for my first scan at 12 weeks.  

So off I went to the Foetal Medical Centre (on Harley St., no less) with my husband, Bill. The clinic had lovely facilities – it was a bit like going to a spa but without the pool! We were called through and I lay down on the bed with Bill sitting beside me.

I had been worried there would be nothing there when they scanned me and all we would see would be an empty space. As soon as the scanner was put on my tummy we could see our little baby, waving its arms and legs around, all 6cm of it! I cried a bit, with happiness.  

Bump at 12 weeks

The scan was very thorough and they went over several aspects of the baby’s body and internal bits. They discovered I had a fibroid on my womb but it was well away from the placenta and the ‘exit’! We also asked them to take an educated guess at the sex – a boy and he was pronounced perfect. We had wanted a boy but after seeing the baby on the screen and finding him fit and well, that was all that mattered.

The next week, my appointment had come through for the equivalent ‘dating scan’ at the hospital. We both went and sat in the dingy corridor and waited for an hour to be called. The room was tiny and divided by a curtain with people wandering in and out on the other side. I was scanned in about 3 minutes and all they looked at was the length of the baby and that its heart was beating. Not very reassuring and if that had been my only scan, I would not have been very happy. Needless to say, we booked our 20 week scan at the private clinic again (where it was confirmed I was definitely expecting a boy – no mistaking what we all saw)!  

Bump at 16 weeks

 Every time I had an appointment with the midwife at the surgery, I saw a different one. I had to persuade the first one to take my blood for the standard tests – she wanted me to go up to the hospital. Another midwife decided the fibroid made my pregnancy ‘high risk’, I wouldn’t be able to give birth in the midwife led birthing suite and would have to go on the general labour ward. An appointment was made for me to see a consultant about it. They also decided to send me for a Glucose test (GTT) because of my Dad having Type II diabetes. 

While I was waiting for all these appointments, I did lots of research on the internet and we had bought a few pregnancy books as well. I was fairly convinced that the GTT was unnecessary as I had no symptoms and the fibroid would not affect anything in the position it was in. I was getting fed up with the care that I was receiving from the NHS as it seemed so impersonal. Although they seemed to be taking care of all the things that might be a problem, it was more like they were ‘covering all the bases’ just in case, rather than looking at me as an individual. They didn’t have time to explain things or offer me choices. It was a bit like going along a factory line!   

I went to the hospital to see the consultant and after waiting an hour and a half she saw me for 5 minutes and agreed there was no problem with the fibroid. I also went for my first GTT. No one seemed to be expecting me and the whole thing was a bit of a shambles. There wasn’t even a chair to sit on while they took the first blood sample. After I got the result back to say I was all normal, I cancelled the second GTT they wanted me to go to. I also decided not to go to the hospital another time a midwife wanted to send me, for a blood test to check for anaemia, as I didn’t have any symptoms.  

Bump at 20 weeks

Bill and I had the opportunity to look around the hospital maternity wards. We were told to meet in the wrong part of the hospital and when we did find the rest of the group, there were about 60 other people! I felt really sorry for the mums who were on the wards when we all were herded round. The facilities were obviously very good, with the latest machines and technology, but the atmosphere was just too ‘clinical’ and didn’t seem to celebrate birth. All these things left me feeling that the hospital wasn’t going to be the nicest place to give birth or be the joyful and natural experience I wanted it to be.

There is Another Way

As my pregnancy progressed it was what they call ‘uneventful’! That meant, after some slight nausea during weeks 4 to 12, I had no problems or discomfort. My weight gain was just ‘the bump’ and I felt very well.

Bump at 31 weeks

 I decided to look for alternatives to giving birth at the hospital. My Mum had me at a dedicated maternity hospital so I looked for that type of thing on the internet. Some information popped up on ‘birth centres’ which were run by independent midwives. This is how I found The Birth Centre, run by Caroline Flint and I arranged for me and Bill to go and have a look round and find out more about their service. Their rooms were set up like a home away from home and had a birthing pool in each one. The Birth Centre is also right next door to St. George’s hospital, in case of emergencies.  

 I was so pleased to find an alternative to the hospital and to find there was another way to give birth so, at the end of my seventh month of pregnancy, we signed up with Caroline. She put me together with Vicky, Rachel and Jenny who would be my dedicated midwives.

They then took it in turns to visit me in my home, rather than me having to go to the surgery or hospital. They all met Bill too and took their time to find out about me as a person, my feelings, my beliefs and our families (as well as taking care of my pregnancy)! During these visits they always gave me all the information I needed to make choices about all of the things that might affect me or my baby during my pregnancy and birth. If I couldn’t make a decision I always felt confident to let them decide what was best or, give me their personal opinion, drawing on their experiences. They made copious notes and I could keep a copy of them as a record. They also helped me write a few notes for my birth plan and what to put in it.  

Bump at 38 weeks

They gave me confidence and supported me in my decision to work up to Christmas, even though that would be 10 days before my due date. I also planned for my baby to be born just on his due date – I didn’t want to be early or late but I don’t think they believed my planning could work that well!

Bill had a special pregnancy massage booked for me on the Saturday before New Years. They would use special aromatherapy oils to help me start labour if I hadn’t felt anything by then.  

 

The first part of my plan worked and my last day at work was 22nd December. My Mum joined us for Christmas and Boxing Day. I was quite large by then and couldn’t bend over to reach the coffee table and move my Trivs piece round. Mum and Bill had to do it for me while I lounged on the sofa with my feet up!  

The Build Up

I had been having crampy period type pains from the Wednesday (27th) onwards. They were uncomfortable enough to keep me awake for some of the night (consequently I have not had a full nights sleep since)! Vicky and Rachel visited me together that day. I told them about the pains and as they were leaving they said to each other that they didn’t think it would be too long before I went into labour.

By the Friday night the pains were much more uncomfortable and I asked Bill to sleep in the spare room. I knew I would not be able to sleep and would disturb him. That night I put on the Tens machine that The Birth Centre had provided for me. I know some people swear by them but I found it useless. I persevered because I thought it was meant to help with the pains but it just gave me pains in my back as well as my front!

By 4am I had had enough. I had to visit the loo (in the dark so as not to disturb Bill) when I decided to switch it off and remove the pads. Unfortunately, I managed to turn it up to full power and nearly killed myself with the shock of the huge ZAP of electricity that shot across my back!! I shouldn’t have worried about disturbing Bill, my subsequent shriek failed to rouse him from his slumber.  

The Big Day

At 6am on Saturday morning (30th) I woke Bill up so he could keep me company. I had got fed up with rolling round the bed on my own, feeling sorry for myself as I couldn’t get comfy and I wanted him to share my pain.

Bill had to cancel the lovely pregnancy massage he had booked as we both felt sure I wouldn’t need it to start labour now!

I phoned for one of my midwives at 7am – the first time all pregnancy. Jenny answered and I told her about the pains I was having. They were coming about every 10 minutes. She said to keep and eye on it and that she would come round if I wanted her to but that it might be a bit too early. Not long after, I had a ‘show’ and I felt certain I was in labour and so I called her again. She had decided to come to the house anyway and arrived by 11am. I had also called my Mum and she came straight over to be with us.  

Bag packed ready to pop !!

Jenny did all the usual checks on me and found the baby’s heart beat was skipping a beat every now and then. She thought this was unusual and decided we should go to the local hospital to have me monitored for a while. We were seen straight away at the hospital and they hooked me up to a monitor that showed the baby’s heartbeat and my contractions.

We could all hear the heartbeat skipping and the first midwife didn’t know what it was and went off to get another midwife. It was a very worrying time as the next two hospital midwives did nothing to reassure us. We all felt very upset but I think that we all pretended everything was fine to each other and put on brave faces. I tried to concentrate on the baby’s heart to keep beating and it was funny watching some of the contractions showing on the monitor that I couldn’t even feel. Another woman on the labour ward was screaming her head off and I said that there was no way I’d be making those noises – little did I know!

Eventually the consultant came along and he actually talked to us about what was going on. He said there was good enough variability in the heartbeat and, although he couldn’t tell us why it was skipping beats, he wasn’t too worried about the baby or me. He then carried on by assuming I would stay in hospital and told us they could use forceps or I could have a caesarean if needed – all in the space of about 60 seconds! I was monitored for a bit longer to be on the safe side but I had decided I definitely wanted to leave the hospital.

At The Birth Centre

Back at home, Jenny said if I wanted, she could do an internal examination to see how I was progressing and then we could decide what to do next. I was happy with that plan and it was then we discovered I was 6cm dilated already. I don’t think anyone believed I was in labour until then! Bill made everyone beans on toast and it was off to The Birth Centre we went.  

By the time we arrived it had got dark and it was a bit rainy and cold. We quickly made ourselves comfortable indoors, turning up the heating and raiding the kitchen for tea and chocolate biscuits. Mum had bought a book to read and Bill took my bag up to the birthing room. Jenny called Vicky who made her way over from a nearby meeting to join us. 

The atmosphere in the room was lovely, there were some lavender and mandarin aromatherapy oils burning and we had soft mood lighting and gentle music playing. I was still getting regular contractions every 5 minutes, so I sat on the birth ball which was a bit more comfortable. The baby was not in the ideal position for giving birth and bouncing on the ball was supposed to help encourage him into a better one.  

After a while, Bill filled the birthing pool to see if the warm water would ease the discomfort. I can’t really say that at this stage it was painful – I just had to breathe deeply to get through each contraction. As they got stronger I stopped being able to talk during each one. The bath was nice for a while but I got bored and got back out again. Every half hour, Jenny and Vicky took it in turns to examine my bump and listen to the baby’s heartbeat. I tried some different positions on the birth ball, but he didn’t want to move round. Progress at this stage was slow so I went back downstairs to sit with Mum taking the ball with me. We all played a game of “Who wants to be a millionaire” on DVD to pass the time!  

By this time (it was about 9pm) everyone was hungry so Bill persuaded me that it would be OK if he went out to get some food, and if the baby was coming, he’d rush straight back! My clever husband managed to hunt down a MacDonalds – brilliant. I had a filet-of-fish meal. I hadn’t realised how hungry I was.

Jenny suggested that I ought to try and lie down and get some sleep. I was pretty sure this wasn’t going to happen, as I had not been asleep for more than 5 minutes since Thursday night. Eventually I agreed to try going for a lie down with Bill to keep me company. We left Mum reading her book and Jenny and Vicky popped down the road for a curry. Sadly, I was right about sleeping and every time I just dosed off, a contraction would wake me. It was too uncomfortable to lie down on my side or my back and I had to sit up every time one came. Bill was timing the contractions and they continued to be every 5 minutes.

Time was beginning to have no meaning to me. Sometimes it seemed like ages between contractions and sometimes it seemed like seconds, but it was always 5 minutes! I couldn’t tell that the hours were passing either. It went so quickly between Jenny or Vicky listening to the baby but it was still half an hour each time. It was all a bit surreal. I didn’t feel tired but it was frustrating that I didn’t seem to be making much progress. My midwives were quite happy that everything was normal and were allowing things to move at their own pace.

At about 11pm, Jenny offered me a further internal examination, but only if I wanted, to check progression. I was happy with this as I did not find it uncomfortable and I wanted to know what was happening. I was now dilated to 8cm and my waters were bulging through the cervix. The baby’s head was still not quite in the best position because my waters hadn’t broken. Jenny discussed with me the option to have them broken (ARM) and that this might speed up the rest of my labour. We decided to review it after a few hours.

After about 3 hours not much progress had been made. My contractions were still the same. We decided to go ahead with the ARM. It was a bit tricky to do because the ‘delicate membrane’ turned out to be more like a swimming cap according to Vicky!! I was so glad my waters hadn’t broken in a supermarket or somewhere – it felt like there was gallons of liquid and with the next few contractions more came each time! My contractions now became more intense so Jenny filled the birth pool for me again.  

I tried different positions but ended up kneeling with my arms and chin resting on the side of the pool. Jenny gave me the gas and air mouthpiece and told me to breathe it when I felt a contraction coming to get the benefit. Bill was there looking after me and passed me a drink and a biscuit between contractions to keep my strength up. Just as I was taking a bite of a rich tea,  a contraction took me by surprise and I suddenly found I couldn’t breathe and chew at the same time! I had to spit it out in the pool (where I found it floating around by the babies head later) so that upset me a bit because I felt a bit out of control.  

Between contractions I was telling Bill that I just didn’t feel like pushing, I wasn’t getting any urges to push. I couldn’t imagine pushing hard enough for the baby to come. Then, with the very next contraction, it felt like my body just took over and I felt myself just bearing down accompanied by a really deep growling sort of moan from my throat!! It was nature doing its thing! With most of the contractions after that I had to push. My body didn’t give me a choice. It was sometimes difficult to get my mouth around the mouthpiece for the gas and air and breathe at the same time, so I couldn’t always get any. Bill thought I wasn’t taking it on purpose!! It was only afterwards that I could explain the problem to him.

Jenny was regularly checking the baby’s heartbeat and had a mirror and a torch (because of the low light) to see what was going on at the business end. It felt like I was having to push for ages and like the baby was never going to come. Jenny was quite happy that it was progressing normally. She was reassuring me all the time that I was doing well and everything was fine.

Bill was with me the whole time and, by this stage, I had found my lungs and was making quite a racket! I had really thought that I wouldn’t be making so much noise but again, my body took over. I suddenly felt worried about my Mum being downstairs, listening to her daughter shrieking and howling, but not being able to tell what was happening. I asked Bill to go and get her when I (optimistically) didn’t think it would take much longer.

Finally, the baby’s head was coming. Jenny encouraged me to reach down and feel it. The head crowning was now very painful and I remember complaining loudly that I didn’t like it! I tried to get more gas and air but it had run out. Unfortunately, no one understood when I tried to tell them this, so I had no pain relief for the most painful part. I thought it was a midwives trick to make me concentrate on pushing at the right time! I decided that I was going to push as hard as I could to get the baby out. I didn’t want it to go on for much longer as it was the most painful bit. With the next contraction I pushed and the baby shot out all at once! Jenny had to quickly get me to stand up as best I could, so she could unwrap the cord from the baby. It was twice round his neck and around his body. Rory was born at 6.55 am and we were all relieved when after a couple of seconds he let out a big ‘waaah waaah’ in healthy protest to being out in the open air!  

 As I held him, still sitting in the pool, I remember checking he was a boy and being in awe of his little toes! Vicky encouraged me to put him to the breast straight away and he was able to suckle a little. She took lots of photos for us and had been videoing the birth, which I was only dimly aware of at the time (but was lovely to be able to see later).  

I thought it was all over then, but I was not really prepared for how strong the contractions to deliver the placenta would be. Bill took the baby and I got out of the pool and lay on the floor. The placenta came with the next contraction after that and it felt such a relief. Bill and Mum were holding the baby and I was happy to just lie there, covered in towels, relaxing at last. 

Jenny examined me and I only had a couple of little grazes. I’m sure this is because everything was allowed to take its own pace. I wasn’t rushed and the baby’s head came gradually. The water supported my weight and I was in a kneeling position so gravity helped.

 Jenny weighed and measured the baby. Rory was 9 lb 2 ½ oz, 57 cm length and 38 cm head circumference. Only one day before his due date!  

 

More Chocolate Biscuits

I suddenly realised I was weak as a kitten. When I stood up I nearly fainted and had to sit back down again straight away. My blood pressure was really low – which was to be expected. Vicky made some tea and coffee for everyone and I finished off most of the rest of the chocolate biscuits. I definitely needed the sugar.  

The bed was made up so that we could take a nap because the labour had taken all night. Before we settled down, Jenny helped me latch Rory on to take a feed. I was lucky he seemed to know what to do straight away and it wasn’t too tricky for either of us. Bill held him for a while before putting him in the lovely snug Moses basket that was made up. He went sound to sleep as soon as he was put down. It must have been hard work for baby Rory too! Jenny and Vicky checked that we were all happy and left us to sleep. I arranged for Jenny to visit us when we got back home the next day. Mum was also able to get some sleep in the room the midwives used.  
We woke again later that morning and both immediately checked on Rory in his basket – he was still sleeping peacefully and we just were amazed we’d made this little person. Bill took the first photos of him with his camera phone and sent them to as many people as we could. We started to ring round and tell everyone our good news. The funny thing was we got told off that we hadn’t told people that I was in labour! It would have been a long wait for everyone if we had.  

Mum made some toast (burning the first lot!) and we started to get our stuff together to leave The Birth Centre. We started back home at about 3pm which was as soon as I felt strong enough to walk to the car and face the journey. Rory was wrapped up well against the elements. He wore the cardigan his Nan had knitted and the carrying cape his Gran had crocheted.  

 

Rory Comes Home 

For the next week I stayed in bed with Rory sleeping beside me in his Moses basket. My mum visited almost every day with little gifts for the baby and keeping me supplied with chocolate biscuits. Bill looked after us so well I didn’t even set foot in the kitchen for the next fortnight!  

My midwives took it in turn to visit us, every day for the first week, to check how things were progressing and help me with any problems. They each had loads of tips and advice about breast feeding, his belly button and they answered all the other little questions and concerns that a new mum has. Vicky even helped me give Rory his very first bath.  

Bill went back to work after 3 weeks so I was happy and reassured that my midwives continued to visit. Vicky, Jenny and Rachel had ended up being friends as well as professionals providing a service. It was wonderful sharing Rory’s first few weeks with them and I was a little sad their visits were at an end when they signed us off at 6 weeks. I feel that having independent midwives made such a huge difference that I couldn’t have wished for a better birth experience.  

At the time of writing, Rory continues to do really well. He’s doubled his birth weight in 3 months and loves spending his time staring at his own fist waving in the air before trying to get as much of it in his mouth as possible!

 

   To be continued…………!

 

  

  
 

 

 

  

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Rorys Page Designed & Made by Bill & Marianne Vernon  - January 2007 - Updated April 2007